Saturday, 2 December 2017

How it all started....

We have been living together for two years now, all of that time in an FLR. I relocated from overseas to be with M, having been in a long distance relationship with her for some time. This was a useful period during which M discovered all she needed to know about my FLR needs. I say discovered. It almost happened by chance.

We were on a short holiday together in my homeland and had planned to attend a fancy dress event. M had brought a nun costume with her and she was messing about one evening, hinting at trying it on. She turned to me and said, "you put it on". I just laughed, thinking she was joking, but she insisted, and this assertiveness was a real turn on for me and my resistance just melted.

So I swapped into the nun costume, after which she immediately took the rope from around the waist, and bound both my hands tightly together. I have asked her since why she did this. She replied that she just got an urge to do it. She had never done this with anyone else before and the thought entered her head, and she just went with it.

Once bound, she brought me to the bedroom and pushed me to the bed, face up. She then said, I know you have a big secret and I am going to get you drunk. I will not free you until you tell me. She then covered my eyes with eyeshades that you use on planes to get some sleep.

Now, I don't really drink a lot so after she propped me up with a pillow and got a couple of beers into me I was certainly a bit "looser". She was so insistent that I had a big secret that I needed to tell her. Again I asked her about this some months later and she said she was just playing with me and had not expected to hear anything. But at the time I thought that she had sensed something about me... so I thought... OMG I am going to have to risk it and tell her about my sub side and how I feel I can only be happy in a relationship in the sub role.

For me, it felt like a huge risk because my previous long term relationship went steadily downhill and eventually fell apart after I had revealed some of my inner needs. I already really liked M and hoped to have a long term relationship at some stage. I had not planned on coming out to her at this point.

So after stuttering over the words, I told her that I had a real need to be with a woman who was willing to take charge in the relationship, to be the boss. I opened up about my needs to have my orgasms controlled and how I was happier when a woman controlled that aspect of my life.  Even as I said this, I was worried. On the other hand, she had just tied me up in a very dominating way and I knew already I was helpless to resist.

M didn't need a second invitation to take control. I know now that she has a very strong dominant side. In her previous relationships her partners had complained that she was too bossy and so she had always held herself back. She had been doing this with me too, until everything changed that night. Once we crossed a line there was no going back.

Over the coming months we talked a lot about the subject and she was eager to learn. I recommended some books and she read them all. I think reading Rika was a step forward for her, as she realized that there was no form of control and leadership she needed to model ....she just needed to trust her own instincts and lead.

At first, I had a tendency to top from the bottom, as is easy to do. Thankfully she stamped this out after a few months and started to develop ground rules for what and when I could suggest. It was clear, she was the one who would lead and direct.

By the time we met again, I had already opened up some more but it was not enough. She stripped me naked and tied me to a kitchen chair, hands and feet. Again she blindfolded me and poured a whisky or two into me! Two hours later, we were finished. During this time I had told her things about me that I never in my life told anybody else, some really embarrassing episodes and inner needs. At the end I felt relieved and she felt empowered. We had arrived at a place from which there was no going back.

I am so thankful to M for finding a way to break down my barriers. I felt a huge burden lift. It was a pivotal moment for M too as she realized that she would be entirely free to be the dominant partner she was always meant to be.

Our relationship has grown and grown. Even now, when I need to go on short trips away, lasting usually 3 days at a time, the pain of separation for us both is palpable. She  misses her Hanna so much and I so miss my M.


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