Sunday, 31 December 2017

Free orgasm....with a twist

So I finally got my free orgasm on Friday. I tried to take my time, not rush it and enjoy it. After all, it was only number 4 this year. All was going well until M decided to make things a bit harder for me by rubbing and pinching my nipples. Bang....15 seconds later I exploded into her. She just laughed.What a feeling. My first full orgasm since October 6th.

M had told me before going to bed that she had decided that tonight was "the night". However, she also told me that, to help me not have a "down" after the orgasm, she had decided to tie me up immediately afterwards and spank me with her leather belt.

I pleaded with her to spank me before the orgasm, but she was having none of it. We both knew I would suffer far more, mentally, afterwards.

So, true to her words, she immediately blindfolded me, shoved a sock in my mouth and tied my hands and legs. I just wanted to sleep, LOL. So I then got about 15 lashes with the belt. It stung, but did not leave marks for long. Still, I was squirming throughout. She told me afterwards that every time I get a full orgasm in future, it will be followed by such a session. What a mindfuck that is.

I hate to admit it but I have been a bit more attentive than I usually am after an orgasm, so maybe M is (once again!) correct. She says I am her computer and she knows exactly how to program me!

In some ways I was lucky. She had ordered a riding crop online at Christmas and it arrived yesterday, too late to be used. It looks like a very serious piece of work! I am still waiting to "taste" that particular weapon. I expect she will find some reason to try it out very soon.

That's a wrap for 2017. Happy New Year to all our readers and "Guten Rutsch" as they say here in Germany.


Thursday, 28 December 2017

Surprise shopping trip

I did not get time to properly shop for Christmas presents this year...I got Hanna a couple of items, but I normally buy some lingerie or similar items, to delight her and remind her who she really is.

So I decided to surprise her this evening. She was at work today while I am still on holidays. When she got home I told her we were going shopping.

I enjoyed shopping with her. I liked to see the panic on her face as I selected ever more difficult clothing for her to wear in public. In the end, I settled on a t-shirt that, while female, is close enough to pass, if somebody does not look too closely. I also bought a female knitted hoodie. Hanna expressed doubts about wearing this. No matter, she will be wearing it when we visit friends on New Year's Eve !

I also bought her a sexy red neglige. It was a bargain at €7. And finally a set of 5 thong panties. She was less than sympathetic recently when I had bad period pains, so in future she will wear these each month when I have my period, to remind her.

Wishing our readers a Happy New Year.


Tuesday, 26 December 2017

Christmas '17 is over.

I am back to work tomorrow. It should be relatively quiet in the office as many people take vacation between Christmas and New Year.  I hope to catch up on the e-mail terror that accompanies modern office life. M is off until January 2nd.

One of the benefits of moving to Germany has been the annual holiday allowance that workers here have. M and I have 6 weeks paid leave, and additional time off in lieu of extra hours worked, so probably 8 weeks in total. I do not take it for granted. It is a wonderful benefit for us both.

The past few days since we returned from the sun holiday have been very busy. We entertained on the 24th and 25th. M was very ill when she woke on the morning of the 24th, not good as we had so much to do. But I asked her to please stay in bed and recover, which she did until 12:30.

I worked non stop. Two loads of laundry, ironing, folding and putting the clothes away, wood hauling, fire lighting, and later, preparing some food.  Thankfully M felt somewhat better later. We had a nice evening with M's family. I made crepes for dessert. Later M gave me an extra  bonus point for the effort I had put in.

She also gave me a leather wristband for Christmas with a silver clasp. On the reverse side of the clasp she had engraved "I'm your slave" in my language.

On the 25th we entertained two good friends and so it was a second late evening. Today I woke very tired. I actually fell asleep on the couch mid-morning, which was good as I needed it. I thought I had slept for 15 minutes until M told me I had been 2 hours asleep.

Tomorrow is a month since we started our blog. How time flies. Our intention is to blog regularly, although I can easily imagine that the frequency may drop over time.


PS.. M decided, appropriately, on a dark red as my holiday nail varnish colour. Next change is due the first weekend in January.

Saturday, 23 December 2017

Holiday over

We are now back home again but it was fantastic to get away from the cold German winter and spend 11 nights in the sun (especially with each other!). We will now be busy, entertaining over Christmas.

Unfortunately we had more delays on the journey back home, but thankfully just 3 hours this time and not the nightmare of the outward journey. Nevertheless it was approaching 1 a.m. when we got home. I did not do much before hitting the bed. I just got the first load of holiday washing started.

One thing I realized on the trip home was how often I will sit in the middle seat on a plane in the future. M has a preference for the aisle or the window seat (as I did previously!). That means seat B of E for me. Such is life, a small price to pay to sit with her.

As it is weekend, I had to wear the sleep mask again last night. M wants a lie in at the weekend and I am not now allowed to leave the bed or wake her. She has extended the face mask rule to Friday and Saturday nights. Thankfully she has not insisted on the dummy too, and I was careful not to give her any reason to re-introduce that.

I lay there, wide awake, but quiet, for perhaps 45 minutes this morning It was frustrating as I really wanted to get up and get started on the unpacking and sorting the washing. But rules are rules and I am slowly learning acceptance. I live life now to M's rhythm, not least I am is a work in progress.

Oh...I finally finished the punishment novel on the last day on the beach. I guess it was beneficial in two ways. Firstly, it was 345 pages of German to read (I need the practice). Secondly, it was another of M's creative punishments to remind me that an outburst of male ego will no longer be tolerated in future.

Time for a big Christmas food shopping now. Off to Aldi.


Thursday, 21 December 2017

Game of chance to decide Hanna's fate

Wie Hanna ja schon gesagt hat, bekommt sie 2 freie Orgasmen im Jahr. Einer davon steht jetzt unmittelbar bevor. Da die Erfahrungen mit dem ruinierten Orgasmus Ende letzter Woche gut waren - Hanna war 3 Tage danach wieder voll "zurück", habe ich entschieden, dass wir es spannend machen.

Wir beide lieben Kniffel (yazzee). Und wir haben in der Vergangenheit schon um einige entscheidende Dinge gespielt. Ich sagte Hanna, dass sie um das Recht, einen richtigen Orgasmus zu bekommen, spielen und gewinnen muss. Die Regeln haben wir gleich festgelegt:

Wenn Hanna gewinnt, bekommt sie ihren richtigen Orgasmus. Falls sie mit mehr als 50 Punkten Differenz gewinnt, erhält sie zusätzlich im nächsten Monat einen kostenlosen ruinierten Orgasmus. Wenn Hanna verliert, erhält sie nur einen ruiniertean Orgasmus. Wenn Hanna mit mehr als 50 Punten Differenz verliert, erhält sie gar keinen Orgasmus.  Auch keinen Ruinierten.


Yes. Hanna won big!. 62 points! Extra free ruined O is the prize... and full O on course for next week!


Hanna hat sich zu sehr gefreut. Dafür musste sie später noch leiden!  M

Tuesday, 19 December 2017

The toilet seat was up again...

As M outlined in an earlier post, from the outset of living together, we signed a contract  governing our relationship.  Of course, it is not legally binding. Nevertheless, we are both the type to view it as a serious commitment to each other.

Although not a lawyer, M is professionally experienced and skilled in drafting contracts. She did a magnificent job in drafting ours. It is very one-sided, but that is what we had spoken about and agreed.

One aspect that is covered there is her right to punish me. As I was reading my punishment novel today my mind wandered to other punishments she has meted out.

I have an annoying habit of leaving the toilet seat up. Somehow, I think that I am not the only man to cause such annoyance! Spankings did not seems to cure the fault.

Recently, she came up with a novel approach. She produced a Christmas card that needed to be coloured in by hand. She said, "this is the card you will send to your parents at Christmas so I want you to use your very best efforts to make it nice". Not one of my better skills. "And because you left the toilet seat up earlier, you will sit in front of the toilet and use the closed seat as your table".

One hour and twenty minutes later I was finished. Since then, I have managed to avoid a repeat.

It was certainty a creative punishment and probably more effective in this case than another spanking.


Monday, 18 December 2017

Orgasms...and other thoughts.

This post is inspired by M's generosity on Saturday.

I reminded her, that despite having spent half my merit points buying Christmas presents for her, I still had about 20 points left. This would be enough for 4 ruined orgasms (5 points each required) or one full orgasm (15) and one ruined.

I am not allowed to ask for sex, it must be offered. So I was operating close to the border with this observation. In any event she said cheekily "and are you looking to spend some points now?" I replied in the affirmative and she agreed to allow me a ruined orgasm. In any event she is happy to reduce my credits to a lower level.

It felt great. Frustrating but great. My previous orgasm was on Oct 6 ( I could not remember without looking at my diary). That was my 3rd full orgasm of 2017, having had a "paid" one in March and a "free" on in June, one of two free I get each year. The next free O is the week after next! In between, I get ruined orgasms, probably about 5 or 6 so far this year.

The frequency of my releases has dropped considerably since the start of our relationship.  M notices, and it is true, that my service level drops considerably after an O. She estimates that I need 1 to 2 weeks to return to a high service level after a full O, but only a couple of days after a ruined O.

I wonder why I still get offered full O's. I am starting to fear the downs more than M does. O's have become bitter sweet. But M loves to see that "mental fight" written all over my face too !

Despite the rarity of my orgasms, I can safely say that I never had more sexual attention  in my life than over the past two years. A Queen of tease and denial is M. Nothing brings her more joy than bringing me to the edge and then playing with my sensitive nipples as I fight to hold everything in. She laughs.

Finally, as you will have seen, M found a "Schnuller", a childs dummy, in the supermarket on Saturday evening. I am certain that the purchase was influenced by her desire to bring me back in my service role as quickly as possible. In any event, it is a further restriction on me at night and early in the morning and such restrictions do seem to serve to return me more quickly to a highly attentive state.

And that is something that we both want!


Sunday, 17 December 2017

Endlich Ruhe am Morgen

Im Supermarkt habe ich einen Schnuller gefunden. Jetzt muss Hanna nachts auch noch einen Schnuller haben. Heute früh hatte ich solange Ruhe, bis ich Hanna von Schnuller und Maske befreit hattee. Das Ganze hat Hanna noch mehr sub gemacht, als sie vorher war. Also genau die richtige Entscheidung.


Friday, 15 December 2017

Male ego

So, this morning I awoke once again quite early. How early I have no way to tell. I lay there with the eyeshades on in compliance with M's new directive for the rest of the holiday. I tossed and turned, fell briefly in and out of sleep a few times. This just heightened my sense of frustration as each time I awoke I realised how powerless I was!

After what seemed like an age I heard M move. Shortly afterwards she said simply "sieben Uhr". This was a statement, not an invitation to chat. She wants silence too in order to doze off again. She made this clear last night. At home, she bought a babies dummy to shove in my mouth for such occasions and it would not take much for her to have me shop for one here. That, I want to avoid.

Some time later she told me I could take off the mask. No surfing allowed. I asked if I could cuddle into her and she agreed. It felt wonderful, especially after a long time isolated in the sleeping mask.

When she later told me I could surf, I told her that I preferred to continue cuddling and we spooned for a long time.

Yesterday was our first beach day. Luckily I had managed an hour sunbathing on the balcony on Tuesday, reddening up my milk white tits. My tan lines were still visible but not so noticable as before. Still, I tried to tan them up as quickly as possible.  M had painted henna tattoos on my chest and stomach the night before. Nothing too bad, unless you could speak my native tongue. Most cannot!

Later she sent me to walk the beach, topless. I was embarrassed and just hoped nothing was too visible. I did catch the eye of the lady beside us on the beach and she smiled broadly. In my mentally fragile state my imagination ran wild and I assumed she saw the bikini outline. I blushed from cheek to cheek. Chances are, it was just a friendly smile. But I am certainly prone to moments of panic when I fear I have been "discovered".

Yesterday, M opened the hotel room door wide to call the chambermaid just as I was putting on my pink bra. Another M rule, I must wear a bra always when we are together.

I freaked and pulled it off and complained loudly and bitterly. "Your male ego is really a problem " she said . "It's the what. You don't know her. I need to squash that male ego and I will eventually". "It matters what I think of you...does it matter what others think?" she asked. My mind bet it matters...but I knew better in that moment and just said " Sorry   it does not matter. I apologise".

Five minutes later she asked what book I brought to read on the beach. I showed it to her. She then reached into her case and pulled out a book. The cover had pink heart cookies and the title...Die Gluckskockin...the cook of luck.  "You are now reading this first". This was the punishment for my earlier outburst. 351pages of a German Chick-flick novel. So I sat on the beach yesterday with partly white tits, wearing only a badly fitting bikini bottom, reading my punishment book. 8 chapters done. 25 to go.

Holidays can be so relaxing!


Thursday, 14 December 2017

Roboter Hanna

Hanna hat ein sehr eingefahrenes Schlafmuster. Sie kann nur schlecht daraus ausbrechen, am Wochenende oder im Urlaub auch mal länger zu schlafen. Ich hingegen brauche von Zeit zu Zeit einen längeren Schlaf. Der Urlaub eignet sich dafür sehr gut: einfach mal 2 Wochen am Stück nicht um 6 h aufzuwachen, sondern erst um 8 h oder halb 9 h.

Hanna hat mich 2 Tage hintereinander morgens daren gehindert. Sie wacht, wie immer um 6 h auf und holt ihr Handy raus und surft. An ruhiges Ausschlafen ist dann nicht mehr zu denken. Nachdem ich gestern den ganzen Tag müde war und wir deshalb nicht zum Pub sind, habe ich entschieden, dagegen vorzugehen.

Ich befahl ihr, mir vor dem Schlafengehen, ihr Handy zu geben. Außerdem solle sie eine Schlafmaske tragen, damit sie nicht merkte, dass es hell wurde. Auch auf die Uhr schauen, war ihr so unmöglich. Die Maske durfte sie erst ausziehen, wenn ich es ihr erlaubt hatte.

Sie war frustriert – sehr frustriert. Um halb 7 h heute früh wachte ich kurz auf. Ich sagte ihr, es sei noch dunkel, sie solle noch weiterschlafen, was sie dann wohl irgendwann auch tat. Um 8.30 h schließlich, als ich schon einige Minuten an meinem Handy surfte (Wetterbericht, News usw.) erlaubte ich ihr schließlich, ihre Maske abzunehmen.

Nach weiteren 15 Minuten, in denen ich weitersurfte, gab ich ihr schließlich endlich ihr Handy. Sie war total frustriert. Mir war es egal. Ich habe endlich mal lange ausgeschlafen und teilte ihr mit, dass das die Regel für den Rest des Urlaubs sein würde.


Wednesday, 13 December 2017

Finally here!

So as M has written, we did not have the ideal start to our holiday.7 hours on a runway without moving is no fun. Disembarking to find zero clear information about follow-up options was also not nice.

But spare a thought for the people with young kids, or older people, some of whom were from out of town and had no bed for the night. Or the folks who were due to connect with a cruise ship that had now left port. The airline was unprepared and the few staff were overwhelmed.

In the end we managed to make the rearranged flight the next day. It was a bizarre experience too because our flight never once appreared on the airport monitors and the one and only announcement came at some stage to say that boarding for flight x would commence shortly at gate Y.

We were relieved when the plane left the runway and I was also relieved to find that the car hire was still valid at our arrival airport. M had already taught me a painful lesson  the night before, one that I had no desire to reprise.

We arrived to stormy and rainy conditions, so I have yet to face the humiliation of a public display of tan lines on the beach. We toured around in our hire car yesterday and enjoyed the huge waves that accompanied the storm.

M had not slept well the first night. The pillow was too high so her back was sore when she awoke. I gave her a long back massage which seemed to help and did so later again in the evening, followed by a foot rub with aloe vera cream. We then had dinner in the hotel and M enjoyed having me fetch food and drink for her from the buffet.

The evening concluded with a visit to a local pub. Somehow somewhere, I mislaid the hotel keycard. Luckily we had two. However I need to go to reception today to report it and obtain a replacement. M has made it clear that any charge will be paid by me. Given that I earn on average about $5 per week from M's performance rating sytem, it could be a costly episode for me. I need to be more careful in future.

After M had edged me a few times, we both fell soundly asleep. I type this after a good nights sleep with M still asleep beside me.

This morning we will go to a local street market. I am, by now, a well trained shopping companion. My patience, attentiveness and good humour are the key to a happy experience for both M and I.


PS  no charge for replacing lost card :-)

Monday, 11 December 2017

schrecklicher Start in den Urlaub

Unser lang ersehnter Urlaub fing erst mal gar nicht an. Ein schrecklicher Schneesturm zog über Deutschland.

Als wir zum Flughafen fuhren war noch alles grau. Bei der Ankunft fing allerdings das Unheil an. Es nahm seinen weiteren Verlauf, während wir auf das Boarden warteten. Der Schnee wurde noch stärker. Als wir schließlich im Flugzeug saßen, hieß es: wir müssen warten! Der Schnee ist zu stark zum Starten. Langes Warten ... 7 ! Stunden später durften wir das Flugzeug unverrichteter Dinge wieder verlassen.

Ich hatte schlechte Laune. Hanna versuchte verzweifelt, mich aufzumuntern. Das ist das, was ich von ihr erwarte!

Aber ich hatte eigentlich keine Lust, aufgemuntert zu werden. Aber wir spielten trotzdem Karten. Ein einfaches Kinderspiel. Wer als erstes 15 Punkte erreichte, durfte von dem Anderen verlangen, etwas zu tun.

Ich sagte ihr: Im Rucksack ist ein BH von mir (ich trage cup C!). Den muss Hanna in der Toilette des Flugzeugs anziehen, wenn ich zuerst 15 Punkte habe. Wenn Hanna zuerst 15 Punkte hätte, würde sie 4 Pünktchen unserer Motivations-Währung bekommen, was einem Gegenwert von 50 Cent entspräche. Also nicht wirklich ein Problem für mich. Aber genau das habe ich beabsichtigt. Es geht ja schließlich darum, mich glücklich zu machen.

Und für eine Stunde hatten wir zumindest eine angenehme Ablenkung. Leider hat Hanna knapp gewonnen. Ich lag 12 zu 10 vorne und die Panik war in Hannas Gesicht geschrieben. Normalerweise verliert sie immer, wenn sie Panik hat. Dieses Mal war das Glück leider auf ihrer Seite und sie hat 5 Spiele hintereinander gewonnen. Schade!!

Als wir zu Hause ankamen, habe ich Hanna gesagt, sie soll bei der Autovermietung anrufen, um zu klären, dass wir das Auto nicht abholen können. Hanna war nicht gehorsam. Sie sagte immer wieder, das ist doch egal, die haben unsere Flugnummer.

Erst als ich sagte. DO IT!, tat sie es schließlich. Und ich hatte Recht! Wenn sie nicht angerufen hätte, wäre unser Autoreservierung annuliert worden.

Hanna sagte direkt nach dem Anruf! Ok, ich habe es verdient. Du darfst mich schlagen, ich war ungehorsam und ich muss auf dich hören. Das gleiche ging mir auch sofort durch den Kopf. Hanna ging direkt ins Schlafzimmer und zog ihre Strafkleidung an. Eine rosa Rüschen Unterhose und ein T-Shirt auf dem steht, „punish me, I was a bad boy“.

Ich hatte so richtig schlechte Laune, weil wir unseren Urlaub nicht antreten konnten. Also waren die Schläge für Hanna sehr schmerzhaft. Aber das musste sein. Sie muss endlich lernen, dass ich sofortigen Gehorsam erwarte. Ich denke, sie hat diese Lehre verstanden. Zumindest konnte sie danach nicht mehr sitzen. Und der Schmerz würde sie morgen im Flugzeug hoffentlich immer wieder daran erinnern!


Saturday, 9 December 2017

Fertig fuer den Urlaub. Ready for holidays

We fly to the sun tomorrow. Badly needed. Both M and I have been incredibly busy in our jobs recently.

So being Saturday today, we lay about in bed. So much better than our normal 6 a.m. alarm clock ordeal. Eventually we stirred ourselves sometime after 9 a.m.  As usual, I prepared breakfast  while M dressed and showered. I had started laundry when M appeared and helped me fold some of the shirts. This she does far better than I.

She retired upstairs after breakfast to dry her hair and start to pack for the holiday. I cleared up and then hauled wood for the wood-burning stove. It is very cold today with a biting wind and snow flurries. 

Having lit the fire, I then prepared a crepe mixture. We had been at the local Christmas market last night and we both had a hankering for crepes (wir hatten Lust, wie man auf Deutsch sagt). Sadly, the crepe stand was closed so M suggested that I make some crepes later when we returned home. Lecker (scrumptious), as the Germans say! Having then noticed that we still have some eggs to finish before the holiday,we decided to have a second helping today!

M was kind to me last night. She allowed me to pick my own nail polish colour for the holiday. What a relief! I choose the "no make up" look. You can feel you have it on, but it almost passes as nothing. It is neutral and matt. The sting in the tail was that she handed me a clear gloss to put on my fingernails today. I need to wear it for the flight but will be allowed to switch to "no make up" when we reach the hotel.

I am so glad to be rid of the turquoise that had screamed out for attention these last two weeks. It is a colour M likes on me, so I will see it many times more.

With "no make up" nail polish, I can relax on that front for now. I wish I could say the same about my tits. I have no idea how I am going to survive on the beach. I will find our Monday.

So we hope to blog a few times while abroad. I have no doubt that I will be pushed close to my limits by M, when the fancy takes her.

O.K. Time for me to prepare lunch and then finish packing......


Friday, 8 December 2017

Leaving your mark...

M has really stepped up her control in the past few weeks. It shows in a number of ways. I don't in any way complain about this because it meets my needs and I find I am more content.

From the start she has loved to mark me. She delighted in covering my body in henna tattoos. She likes to leave bite marks from time to time. Part of the attraction for her is the sense of ownership and part is seeing my panic. She tells me it give her a real buzz when she sees the panic in my eyes.

One rule, written into our contract, concerned the constant wearing of nail polish on my toe nails, with a different colour to be applied every two weeks. This was never insisted on as I needed to shower at work on a regular basis. However she has recently insisted on this requirement again. I am now six weeks in and she will choose my new colour again tonight. I have had to be so careful at work. I bought a pair of clogs to cover the toes in the shower room. When I pointed out my predicament she just said, "So, find a way to deal with it!"

We are heading off soon on a sun holiday and in advance she has sent me to the local solarium to brown up my white skin. Not a lot. Only three sessions. We know it is not  healthy, long term. The catch. She handed me a bikini to wear there. She loved the panic I showed, and I did have panic. I still do, when I look in the mirror. I started to talk about my problem last night, enquiring if I could maybe have one last session without the bikini. She replied that I will have ample opportunity to brown up my tits on the beach!

I am sweating even thinking about the problem. And of course, I now use two towels in the work showers, the second to drape over my shoulders and chest. Trying to think of covering this, my nails and not have my panties discovered is a real balancing trick in the shower room. So far, I have coped with it. As M reminds me, it means I am thinking of her and feeling her control, even when she is not there.


Tuesday, 5 December 2017

Taeglich auf den Knien

M wollte etwas posten aber sie hat keinen Bock zu schreiben. Sie erzählte mir, was sie sagen wollte und dass ich es schreiben sollte.

Wir haben vorher hier in einem Blog etwas ueber Routinen gelesen. Danach hat M entschieden, etwas davon zu benutzen. Um mich taeglich richtig in meine Sub Rolle zu bringen, muss ich vor M auf meine Knien und Elbogen auf den Boden gehen und um Erlaubnis bitten sie zu bedienen. Naturlich sage ich auch wie dankbar ich bin sie zu haben und eine Gelegenheit zu haben, sie zu bedienen, weil das die Warheit ist.

Nachdem ich das gemacht habe, muss ich warten, bis ich die Erlaubnis kreige, wieder aufzustehen.

Hanna fuer M

M wanted to post something but she has no desire to write today. So she told me what she wanted to say and that I should write it. 

We've read about routines here in a blog before. After that, M decided to use some of it.

In order to properly bring myself into my sub-role every day, I have to go down on my knees and elbows before M and ask for permission to serve her. Of course, I also say how grateful I am to have her and to have an opportunity to serve her, because that is the truth. When finished, I wait until I get permission to get up again.

Hanna for  M

Monday, 4 December 2017

Little things count....

M has breakfast at her workplace. She usually has muesli, fruit berries and yoghurt that she brings with her in a Tupperware container,. I get it ready each evening and place it in the fridge for her. I love to do things like this for her. It makes me happy, and her too.


Sunday, 3 December 2017

Hanna programmieren. Programming Hanna

Wie Hanna bereits beschrieben hat, hatten wir anfangs eine Fernbeziehung.

Die Power, die Orgasmusverbot hat, habe ich bereits sehr früh erfahren. In einem unserer Urlaube hatte er wohl zu viele Orgasmen und er war ziemlich down, was unsere Fernbeziehung angeht. Das hat mir die Augen geöffnet. Denn unsere Fernbeziehung war nicht wirklich ein Problem, aber Hanna hat eines daraus gemacht.

Da Hanna mir schon vorher über die Möglichkeit der Orgasmuskontrolle berichtet hatte, habe ich beschlossen das sofort ernsthaft mit in unsere Beziehung aufzunehmen. Hanna durfte ihr bestes Stück nur noch mit maximal 3 Fingern anfassen. An sexuelle Stimulation mit den Händen durfte sie nicht mal denken.

Wir entdeckten auf diese Weise, dass Hannas Brustwarzen sehr empfindlich sind, was sexuelle Stimulation angeht. Also haben wir diese benutzt, um Hanna während unserer Skypes zu erregen. Das durfte Hanna nur dann tun, wenn ich ihr dabei zusah. Sonst war sexuelle Stimulation strengstens verboten. Entweder zusammen oder nichts.

Während der Erregung war Hanna immer sehr aufnahmebereit und ich suggestierte ihr verschiede Sachen, die mit der Zeit eine automatische Reaktion auslösten. Ich hatte z.  B. die verrückte Idee, dass Hanna bei der Hausarbeit immer einen Kittel tragen muss. Also suggerierte ich ihr, dass das Anziehen des Kittels eine sexuelle Handlung ist uns es sie daher erregt. Nach einigen vielen Sessions hat dies dann tatsächlich in unserem nächsten gemeinsamen Urlaub geklappt. Hanna zog den Kittel an und ihr bestes Stück wurde schnell ziemlich groß.

Im Laufe der Zeit haben wir diese Suggestionen immer weiterverfolgt. Es funktioniert immer super und die Suggestion ist ein super Mittel, Hanna Sex zu geben, wenn sie eigentlich gar keinen hat.


Saturday, 2 December 2017

How it all started....

We have been living together for two years now, all of that time in an FLR. I relocated from overseas to be with M, having been in a long distance relationship with her for some time. This was a useful period during which M discovered all she needed to know about my FLR needs. I say discovered. It almost happened by chance.

We were on a short holiday together in my homeland and had planned to attend a fancy dress event. M had brought a nun costume with her and she was messing about one evening, hinting at trying it on. She turned to me and said, "you put it on". I just laughed, thinking she was joking, but she insisted, and this assertiveness was a real turn on for me and my resistance just melted.

So I swapped into the nun costume, after which she immediately took the rope from around the waist, and bound both my hands tightly together. I have asked her since why she did this. She replied that she just got an urge to do it. She had never done this with anyone else before and the thought entered her head, and she just went with it.

Once bound, she brought me to the bedroom and pushed me to the bed, face up. She then said, I know you have a big secret and I am going to get you drunk. I will not free you until you tell me. She then covered my eyes with eyeshades that you use on planes to get some sleep.

Now, I don't really drink a lot so after she propped me up with a pillow and got a couple of beers into me I was certainly a bit "looser". She was so insistent that I had a big secret that I needed to tell her. Again I asked her about this some months later and she said she was just playing with me and had not expected to hear anything. But at the time I thought that she had sensed something about me... so I thought... OMG I am going to have to risk it and tell her about my sub side and how I feel I can only be happy in a relationship in the sub role.

For me, it felt like a huge risk because my previous long term relationship went steadily downhill and eventually fell apart after I had revealed some of my inner needs. I already really liked M and hoped to have a long term relationship at some stage. I had not planned on coming out to her at this point.

So after stuttering over the words, I told her that I had a real need to be with a woman who was willing to take charge in the relationship, to be the boss. I opened up about my needs to have my orgasms controlled and how I was happier when a woman controlled that aspect of my life.  Even as I said this, I was worried. On the other hand, she had just tied me up in a very dominating way and I knew already I was helpless to resist.

M didn't need a second invitation to take control. I know now that she has a very strong dominant side. In her previous relationships her partners had complained that she was too bossy and so she had always held herself back. She had been doing this with me too, until everything changed that night. Once we crossed a line there was no going back.

Over the coming months we talked a lot about the subject and she was eager to learn. I recommended some books and she read them all. I think reading Rika was a step forward for her, as she realized that there was no form of control and leadership she needed to model ....she just needed to trust her own instincts and lead.

At first, I had a tendency to top from the bottom, as is easy to do. Thankfully she stamped this out after a few months and started to develop ground rules for what and when I could suggest. It was clear, she was the one who would lead and direct.

By the time we met again, I had already opened up some more but it was not enough. She stripped me naked and tied me to a kitchen chair, hands and feet. Again she blindfolded me and poured a whisky or two into me! Two hours later, we were finished. During this time I had told her things about me that I never in my life told anybody else, some really embarrassing episodes and inner needs. At the end I felt relieved and she felt empowered. We had arrived at a place from which there was no going back.

I am so thankful to M for finding a way to break down my barriers. I felt a huge burden lift. It was a pivotal moment for M too as she realized that she would be entirely free to be the dominant partner she was always meant to be.

Our relationship has grown and grown. Even now, when I need to go on short trips away, lasting usually 3 days at a time, the pain of separation for us both is palpable. She  misses her Hanna so much and I so miss my M.


Holidays...idea generation time for M

We are currently on holiday. The weather has been unseasonably cold but we have nevertheless got out and about and cycled quite a bit. Bec...