M has really stepped up her control in the past few weeks. It shows in a number of ways. I don't in any way complain about this because it meets my needs and I find I am more content.
From the start she has loved to mark me. She delighted in covering my body in henna tattoos. She likes to leave bite marks from time to time. Part of the attraction for her is the sense of ownership and part is seeing my panic. She tells me it give her a real buzz when she sees the panic in my eyes.
One rule, written into our contract, concerned the constant wearing of nail polish on my toe nails, with a different colour to be applied every two weeks. This was never insisted on as I needed to shower at work on a regular basis. However she has recently insisted on this requirement again. I am now six weeks in and she will choose my new colour again tonight. I have had to be so careful at work. I bought a pair of clogs to cover the toes in the shower room. When I pointed out my predicament she just said, "So, find a way to deal with it!"
We are heading off soon on a sun holiday and in advance she has sent me to the local solarium to brown up my white skin. Not a lot. Only three sessions. We know it is not healthy, long term. The catch. She handed me a bikini to wear there. She loved the panic I showed, and I did have panic. I still do, when I look in the mirror. I started to talk about my problem last night, enquiring if I could maybe have one last session without the bikini. She replied that I will have ample opportunity to brown up my tits on the beach!
I am sweating even thinking about the problem. And of course, I now use two towels in the work showers, the second to drape over my shoulders and chest. Trying to think of covering this, my nails and not have my panties discovered is a real balancing trick in the shower room. So far, I have coped with it. As M reminds me, it means I am thinking of her and feeling her control, even when she is not there.
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